It's Time to Meet the Muppets

A letter...

2007-09-17T23:05:28Z

...to the city of London.

Dear London,
You and I, we've had some amazing times. And it's only been three weeks. I know, it's just flown by. From the misbehaving to the sheer intellectual awe (mad props on St. Paul's Cathedral. Really), it's been nothing short of incredible. But we're coming up on that time when I have to leave. Friday, actually. And I'm all kinds of excited to go to Paris and Rome, don't get me wrong...but still, I'm a little mad at you. Because, London, you've gone and made me never want to leave. And that's sort of a problem, 'cause I love a whole lot of people who aren't here. We need to work this out, ok? Because at this point, it's looking like we'll have to go on a break. I'll be back, don't you worry. But for now...dude, that was mean. Leading a girl on, letting her fall in love with you, and then making her leave for a long, long time? In the future, I would try to avoid that. Just some friendly advice.

Yours drunkenly (yes, on a Monday, you jerk),
Jess

P.S. real update to come eventually, I promise. No, really!

The eagle has landed. Yup, I'm an eagle.

2007-08-29T20:08:31Z

In London! Have internets! Have the WRONG CONVERTERS (party foul on Dad), so have almost no battery left. So excited! So tired! So not caring about the whole "tired" thing!

So, in the past two days, I've seen so many cool things and had so much fun that I don't even know where to begin. Actually, I do. I'll begin back in the US. I saw Wicked with my parents on Sunday. WHOOOOOOA awesome :-D I'm way too lazy to write any sort of review, so we'll just leave it at "awesome." Nice way to leave the country, really -- the day after seeing my first actual Broadway, not touring, show. Sweet.

The flight was...long. Like, really long. I couldn't sleep, either, which was just extra special, but whatever. We got to our dorm at about 10AM, England-time, but all of our rooms weren't going to be ready until 2. Lindsey and I lucked out -- ours was ready at 12:30, but still. I don't know what it is about teachers and thinking that a group of jet-lagged, exhausted kids who've just gotten off a plane should hit the ground running in a strange city, but Prof. Udden apparently thought that walking us around Chelsea for an hour and a half was the best idea ever. By the end, we were all practically delirious. Kind of amusing. Anyway, after that, we got to crash as we saw fit. Fact: a short nap and a shower can actually raise the dead. After we were all alive again, we went out to dinner (for which good old Gburg paid), and shamelessly had a couple drinks for Kay Hay Hay. Grocery shopping was good fun, and actually pretty cheap. Then, one of the guys had the idea that, since we were all tired, we should all chip in for beer and hang out and play beer pong in one of the kitchens. I don't think my life could possibly get any more painfully Gettysburg-tastic. I mean, really. But since the merits were there (staying in, hanging out as a group in a non-plane environment), we went with it anyway. It only really lasted for a little while, what with the outrageously small kitchen and too many people in it. Plus, some of the other people staying in our dorm had convinced Jenna to go out with them for a little while, and she convinced Lindsey and me. I'm so glad we did. We went to a pub just around the corner, and while we were standing outside waiting for Jenna to finish her cigarette (new smoking ban in bars in England, thank God. My poor little lungs that are used to breathing clear air would die), three guys came over for a light, and we made friends. We played a pretty terrible game of pool -- one of the guys was legitimately good, the other two were on the bad side of average, Lindsey was decent, and Jenna and I got excited when we made the cue ball go in the right direction, had one drink, then went home. I talked to my parents without being noticeably drunk, then passed the fuck out by 11:20.

I'm gonna stop there and do today later, because my battery is officially dead. I know you're waiting anxiously for my daily(ish) chronicles. I'm getting a cell phone tomorrow, so drop me a line on Facebook if you want the number. I love you all and miss your pants off, but damn, is it awesome here :)

Yes, I do still know how to use the Internet...

2007-08-26T02:55:00Z

...in spite of all evidence to the contrary.

Hi all. Work is over. The WIz is over. Summer is over. The wait for England is...almost over. And I'm not entirely sure why I'm even writing in this thing. It's probably because I've got a ton of packing and reading left and I'm feeling rather lonely all of a sudden. I mean, people are hanging out and having fun, but I'm actually being responsible for once in my life and not going because I need to pack and read all night.

It's weird. I'm getting the same feeling I always get right before I leave for school -- that melodramatic "What made me think I could be at home anywhere other than...at home?" feeling which usually starts during my last trip into the city (driving down Storrow Drive with late afternoon sun reflecting off the Charles and Dropkick Murphys playing will do that to a person) and grows until the car pulls out of the driveway on the way to the airport. Then I switch to busy and excited. This time is different, though, because I don't get to see everyone. I mean, I'm going to freaking England, so the "missing everyone" factor is going to be quickly overridden by the "OHMYGOD NO WAY NO WAY LONDON WOWIE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO" factor (hey, I'm being honest, here). Also, pulling out of the driveway doesn't take me to Logan, it takes me to New York to see Wicked (glee!), stay for a night, and then get on a plane. So really, there's no comparison at all. As a matter of fact, I forget why I started this paragraph in the first place. Hooray!

Anyway, I leave tomorrow morning at 9. My flight is Monday at 7PM. It is Saturday at 10:55PM, and I am halfway through The Remains of the Day and less than half packed. I'll go attend to that now.

I already miss you losers.

::triumphantly crosses off "math final"::

2007-05-08T14:13:25Z

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls -- as of 9:54 am, May 8, 2007, I, Jess Ernst, am done with math for the REST OF MY LIFE. Yes, that's right. The last math exam I ever have to take is over. O-V-E-R, over! I got out of it alive, and probably with a mediocre grade. The middle section (read: the bulk of the semester), much like the second exam of the semester, kind of ate me alive a little bit, considering I "learned" it whilst being owned (in every sense of the word) by Meta and Lebensraum, but still! It's DONE! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

It feels like summer already. It's beautiful out, I'm blasting Dropkick Murphys, and...well, I'm not done with school-y things, but at the moment, it sure feels like it.

Anybody want to have a ceremonial bonfire of my math stuff? *^_^* SO HAPPY! DONE! DONE FOREVER! YAAAAAAAAAAY!

^_^

2007-04-27T22:40:51Z

Jesus God. This past month has been RIDICULOUS. My head is going to fall off.

BUT.....

CHRIS IS STAYING! And my ten-minute looks great! And the opera costumes are coming together splendidly! And Senior Projects are fun and awesome! And it's Springfest! And it's pretty outside! And Chris is staying!

So my life, in spite of high levels of crazy and tons of end-of-semester work, is pretty good :-D

See all of the shows this weekend if you can...especially mine :)

NO EVIL, by Emily Jenkins
Starring Kelsey Lamagdeleine, Emily Mahoney, and Sarah Pierce
Directed by yours truly

Sunday at 1:00, Stevens Theatre. Be there!

theroyalbrat @ 2007-04-16T23:46:00

2007-04-17T03:52:32Z

Lebensraum = wowie. Emma is my favorite directorwoman ever and just wow. I'll piggyback on Kevin's "the reason I do theatre" thingy.

I = cripplingly addicted to caffeine. One cup of coffee today at 3:30, and I nearly passed out a zillion times during Jubilee dress rehearsal.

My mom = badass. She ran the Boston Marathon in 3 hrs, 40 mins today. She is indeed rockin'. I heart my mommy.

Virginia Tech = ...cannot cope. Not right now. Am in no mental state to think about it. Just no.

Can no longer function. Brain a splodey. Need more coffee tomorrow. Passing out now.

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2007-03-29T18:56:07Z

Damn damn damn damn DAMN!

This is one of those times when I hate Gettysburg, simply because it's so very far away from EVERYTHING WORTHWHILE. Like a Muppet Film Festival at the Brattle Theatre. Which, coincidentally, is happening THIS WEEKEND. WHY, GOD, WHY?

I am severely distraught by the 7 hours between me and the Brattle right about now. I am not amused and I will not get over this tragedy anytime soon. Those of you lucky enough to still be in the Boston area, aka the only civilized place on the planet (why did I ever leave why why whyyyyyyyy?), go to the Brattle in my place. Muppets are wonderful, which goes without saying, and the Brattle Theatre is just really cool. It's in Harvard Square, it's easy to find, and it's a wonky old indie theatre. Besides, I know that 90-100% of my friendslist has a borderline dangerous addiction to all things Jim Henson.

*sigh* I suppose I'll go read Cymbeline and try to convince myself not to steal a car and drive home this weekend...

meep!

2007-03-27T05:11:39Z

*looks at calendar, with newly-added Lebensraum rehearsals like whoa*
*...and fun things like "Methods paper 4" and "Cymbeline paper" and "Math exam"*
*...and "EASTER BREAK! GO HOME! DO WORK! GET SLEEP! ALSO, SLEEP!" (yes, that's what it says)*
*...and blank spaces soon to be filled with ten-minute rehearsals and opera workshop costuming*

That Easter Break thing somehow makes it aaaaalllllll ok.

All of a sudden, a month and a half seems really, really short. Wow.

Highlights of this past weekend include, but are not limited to, Company rocking hardcore, Shakespeare midterm celebrating and drunken dress-up, scenes from Wicked pulling together nicely, pick-up longform show going very well (I <3 you guys), Kay's loft being AWESOMELY FULL OF COSTUMES OH JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER, shenaniganry until ungodly hours on Saturday night, and surviving a Tammy-less weekend intact.

All of your asses had best be in the green room tomorrow night at 7 for ten-minute auditions. The only acceptable excuses are as follows: 1) you're directing one; 2) you were there tonight; 3) you were a silly assface and graduated; 4) you're in another state.

Now I'm off to get almost 8 hours of sleep. Joy!

WHEEEEEEEEEEE!

2007-03-08T21:39:56Z

I live! I live! I live and I'm FREEEEEEEE!

The lunchtime scene and the Shakespeare midterm were today, and both went just fine. And I'm still alive! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA yay. Home Saturday evening :-D

Oh, and something pretty wonderful: the first thing I see when I open up the intarwebs to the New York Times is this article. Upsetting, but oh-so-apropos.

Just a little more work to get done, then my life is even BETTER :-D

"There's a scorpion!"

2007-03-01T05:11:20Z

Go see Metamorphoses, tomorrow through Monday, at the Kline theatre. Seriously, do it. It rocks. Also, we have more fun in the booth than anybody else, ever. "Where are we? What show are we doing?"

My computer is dying, 'cause I left my power cord in the booth tonight. Party foul on me. Gonna read Antony and Cleopatra and try not to pass out now. Math makes me extremely angry. More on that some other time, seeing as every time I even think about it I wind up on the verge of a long, angry rant.

It's 12:07. It's officially March, and it's a week and a day until spring break. I have a shit-ton of work lined up for myself over break (designing, Shakespeare-ing, and job-finding...), but I won't have to go to classes, which means SLEEPING, yaywoo :)

Metamorphoses. Go see it.

Jess out.

Notes

2007-02-22T07:01:45Z

-- I may not survive until Spring Break. Apologies in advance to Needham types.

-- I'm currently collecting opinions as to WHAT ON EARTH made me agree to the one and only job in technical theatre that is entirely computer-based. However, I put together a pretty bitchin' storm tonight, so it's not the end of the world.

-- I don't like not knowing the logic behind every single costume choice...therefore, I will never again let costume wenching slip to once a week. Also, I kind of wish I'd been around to give input on a few of the Meta costumes...oh well. I'll own Jubilee like you can't believe.

-- Amanda and I may very well be the most efficient tech pairing known to man. I know, unexpected...but true! The buttsex ceases when lights need to get focused and railings need to get built.

-- Today was Ash Wednesday. There was a lack of church, because, as I yelled to Cory as I was dashing back to my Den of Perpetual Reading with food, "I don't have TIME for Jesus!" Also, I spent the entire day in the theatre. The irony is a little bit delicious (oh, Dionysus...same archetype, right? ...I'm a nerd).

-- I'm fighting the urge to quit everything else and spend the rest of my life directing creepy-ass, absurdist plays. I did not expect to like directing quite this much...but I do. It's worrisome.

-- Team Lebensraum is pretty much the best thing evar. Don't question it.

-- Peter, that bastard, has gotten me addicted to Spring Awakening. I really want to try to get tickets over spring break...anybody wanna go to New York with me for a day? Please?

-- In addition, I have newfound addictions to the following songs:
"Don't Do Sadness/Blue Wind," Spring Awakening
"Totally Fucked," ditto
"All Grown Up," Bare (no, I am not preggers)
"To Each His Dulcinea," Man of La Mancha
"Aldonza," ditto
"We're Just Friends," I Love You Because (look up those lyrics...I've found a theme song)

-- It would be really sweet if I could just stop time for a little while and get caught up on life.

-- I learned the following in Critical Methods this morning:
We are to re-carnivalize Springfest, stage a topsy-turvy revolution, and take over the school. Since he inspired it, we should then drastically increase Solomon's pay. Also, his son has nightmares about Abraham Lincoln, which is why you shouldn't raise your child in Gettysburg.

"Mr. Creosote" in The Meaning of Life = democracy through vomit.

Now, I'm going to do my best not to overachieve like whoa for my part of the Hamlet presentation for Intro to Theatre. It's pretty much a futile effort.

Update on the crazy

2007-02-12T04:13:05Z

I'm taking precious time away from life-consuming reading to bring this amazing piece of WHAT THE FUCK to the intarwebs.

MsOpheliaBedelia: i could go in a few minutes if you'd like
not dust yet 00: i'm also talking to adam...i dunno when he wants to go
MsOpheliaBedelia: ok
MsOpheliaBedelia: im also talking to him lol
not dust yet 00: whoa crazy!
MsOpheliaBedelia: ITS LIKE THIS NEVER HAPPENS EVER
not dust yet 00: O NOES TRIANGULAR!!!!
MsOpheliaBedelia: LIKE HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE BE TALKING TO THE SAME PERSON ZOMGLOLZ
not dust yet 00: IT IS SO STRANGE AND UNEXPECTED!!!!!
MsOpheliaBedelia: are you outside? omigod im totally going to be outside!!!!!
not dust yet 00: hahaha...we = enormous toolboxes
MsOpheliaBedelia: ill fix your wagon, fossiker james macernst
not dust yet 00: and i'll have sex with your FACE, amanda wardistan
MsOpheliaBedelia: ill flog your bottom with a c-wrench, ernstjuice
not dust yet 00: i'll readjust your beam to ten degrees, manders
MsOpheliaBedelia: ...aaaaand i suddenly regret putting the mental image of "ernst juice" in my mind
not dust yet 00: legit lol-ing is afoot over here
MsOpheliaBedelia: roflcopters
not dust yet 00: i'm a little bit ashamed of how fast that degenerated into nerdy tech references...
MsOpheliaBedelia: legit smiling is going on over here so... SLAT
MsOpheliaBedelia: (smiling like a toolbox)
MsOpheliaBedelia: hah
not dust yet 00: BEST. ACRONYM. EVARRRRRRRRR
MsOpheliaBedelia: i get closer and closer every day to being a techie mcnasty vag
not dust yet 00: soon, you'll be going on sidequests for gels and donuts and suchlike
not dust yet 00: ...and maybe, just maybe, pantsless set construction and lighting will happen. if you're very lucky
MsOpheliaBedelia: .....jess ernst what am i going to do with the truckload of nerd you just dumped on my face??
MsOpheliaBedelia: let's review
MsOpheliaBedelia: sidequest: nerd
MsOpheliaBedelia: gels: nerdy terminology
MsOpheliaBedelia: donuts: fatty nerdcakes
MsOpheliaBedelia: pantsless anything: sexy nerdy
not dust yet 00: you skanky toolbox of loserdom, you just made me rupture my spleen laughing
MsOpheliaBedelia: lolzies

In other news, improv was unspeakably sexy today and I am quitting sleep in favor of shoving my face into a book or ten and NEVER COMING OUT.

An attempt at optimism

2007-01-30T22:31:59Z

Hi there, kids. Coming to you from beyond the grave...or at least, it feels like it. My immune system of steel has failed me, and for the first time since I can remember, I got legit drugs for it. I think I got through my Ireland-plague with only Advil, water, and various forms of caffeine. Jeeeeez. Anyway, it looks like my let's-do-everything plan for this semester has already beaten me. I had to miss math this morning (yay!) and Shakespeare this afternoon (boo. seriously. not ok.) This had better go away soon. I hate being sick. Luckily, there have been some good things about today...

-Sleeping. Lots of sleeping.
-Watching The Mummy while doing some of that sleeping.
-Having a dead people party with Devon and watching Shakespeare in Love.
-SNOW! I can't go out in it, but it's still pretty.
-Amanda Ward is outdoing herself on the awesome scale. She's making me soup :)

So...now I'm going to try to pull my brain together and write a reaction paper on Nietzsche. Over and out.

<3!

2007-01-18T19:32:11Z

"It's like trying to describe an orgasm. You can't."

So said Myers, re: Shakespeare. Emma, I already understand your all-consuming and slightly unnatural love for Myers. SO EXCITED for this class. I'm doing my level best to prevent myself from doing a paper on Othello, no matter how much I desperately want to (Iago Iago oh dear sweet Jesus), because that would be due on Jan. 30, and just no. A King Lear paper wouldn't be due until late February, but a)I wrote about it first semester of last year; b)doing so was the most depressing occupation of my life; and c)Myers made it very clear that King Lear is not only the most depressing play known to man, it is also the hardest one we're doing this semester. We'll see. SO EXCITED. I'm probably going to start reading Measure for Measure after I finish this, because I'm an insufferable dork like that.

Oh, and as for the rest of my life...math is going to be easy, I'm soooo glad to be back with people, my room is lonely and not pretty anymore, directing is going to own your ass, my life is already getting eaten alive, and I think it's all gonna turn out fine. Sweet :)

Wow

2006-12-25T03:45:12Z

It's been a while since I've posted, but it seems like even longer. And it's been a week since I got home, and it seems much, much longer. I'm in a weird mood. This is the part of Christmas Eve when I never know what to do with myself. I've finished all my wrapping, gone to Mass, eaten dinner, hung out next door with Jackie, Jess, and the rest of the extended Bucci family, and opened one present with my brother. Now...I'm sitting here, writing in my lj and eating chocolate (thanks to Julia, who wins hardcore at cantor secret santa).

During finals week...actually, before I go on, I'd like to apologize to anyone who had to associate with me in the last few days of finals week. It was nobody's fault (well, kind of mine) that, by Friday, I would start crying whenever people looked at me. I'm never going almost 4 days without sleep again, ever. Anyway, the original story was about the amount of "At this time last year..." thinking I did during finals week. The strangest moment was right after the theatre holiday party. Exec and a few other people finished cleaning up and dealing with the leftover wine, and we were walking back to the house, singing Rent. It was all kinds of foggy and beautiful ::nods to Emma's photos:: We got to "Seasons of Love," and I realized that, for some reason, I remembered last year's holiday party night very vividly. I have an abnormal amount of mental snapshots from everything I did that night...except for a bit of a drunken haze that can be filled in with usual third-floor goings-on. Now, my first reaction whenever something from Rent can be specifically and concretely applied to my life is, of course, "...oh, shit," but the change from one party to the next utterly blew my mind. So much is different, and on more levels than "Last year at this time, I was heading over to Theatre House to listen to Andy's story and get shitfaced. Now, I'm about to dive headfirst into the first of three projected all-nighters." A lot of this is just me, and a lot of it is definitely internal, but it was...weird. I really don't have anything profound to say. That was kind of pointless...sorry.

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm waiting for Jackie and Jess to get back so I can go next door. I may or may not get drunk. That may or may not make me the worst Catholic ever. I may or may not care at this point. At some point this break, I need to give God a stern talking-to. The price of still having ties to the youth choir is sitting through a Mass full of shrieking children...hardly an atmosphere conducive to a major "WTF?!?!?!?!" at God. Tomorrow, I will feel much more Christmas-y, because I know what to do with myself all day tomorrow. Mrrrraaaaaaaargh.

Tomorrow is good. Tomorrow, the entire Dandrata clan (give or take a few) descends upon the Ernst house. We will perform astounding feats of eating, stab each other in defense of our food (if Derek tries to get at my plate like he did on Thanksgiving, I swear to God, his hand is forfeit), say horrid(ly funny) things to and about each other, and watch Muppet Christmas Carol between food and presents.

The next day, I get on a plane to Cincinnati to see other familial types for the first time in probably 3 years. The traveling portion will be moderately painful, thanks to my high-strung, crazy-ass mother, and the visiting portion will be moderately boring. It's cool. Home on the 30th for another few weeks of Needhaming all over the place. Which is kind of getting old, I might add. A month is a long time.

Ignore my blah-ness. I'm going to go read Emily Climbs. I wish I'd kept a tally of the amount of times I've read that since I was 7 or 8. It's obscene. I <3 L.M. Montgomery to an unnatural degree.

Jess out. Merry Christmas!

Sometimes I like school...

2006-12-07T20:31:20Z

...and sometimes, it blows. Yesterday was the last installment of Mythology in the Middle Ages, and Fee (and Gontrum, but we'll get to that) was in rare form. So, in tribute (and in the interest of getting these quotes to Heather), I present:

Words of Wisdom from Fee, organized by myth o' the week

ARTHURIAN MYTH
"Why did the flood come down?...because people were cheating on quizzes. And this made the Lord angry."

"In many cultures, powerful women are withces...[screams]BURN HER...[normal voice]and are associated with magic."

SAINTS' LIVES
"I didn't mean to blaspheme quite that badly..."

"I love that, y'know, his great sin was stealing pears...and I bet he lusted after them in his heart before!"

[in reference to our complete lack of knowledge of religion] "...and Fee told me at this point that we must sacrifice to the sacred monkeys, and we did! Priest not pleased."

Someone, in reference to St. James the Mutliated: "Well, back then they didn't have power tools!"

Someone: "They procreated, and then they were done."
Fee: "Just like all of your parents...I'm sorry, I had to say it!"

FRENCH MYTH
[in reference to something extraordinarily phallic] "Once again, I'll giggle and say 'You don't have to be Freud' and let it pass."

"Hey, if you were the god of the dead...well, first of all, if you're the god of the dead, you can wear whatever the fuck you want...why wouldn't you deck yourself out in skulls?"

ARABIAN MYTH
[to someone who has been none-too-bright today] "Oh, are you going to say something significant?"

"Musicians -- it's a sympathetic vibration, caused by flatulence hitting the wood [of the pew. in church. during mass]"

"You really don't know what happens under the sea. [pauses, sings] Under the sea..."

"There's the Virgin Mary, and there's Eve...and it's all her fault!"

"Aladdin is a lazy sack of shit."

[class is almost over]
Fee: "Do I hear zipping? Is there zipping so soon?"
McDermott: "Well..."
Fee: "Shut up."

Fee: "When the old man on the bank asks you for a piggy back ride..."
Everyone: "Just say no! etc."
Fee: "Pummel him to death! With a leg bone, if at all possible."

"Dorothy was a fictional character. Judy Garland was an actress, pretending to be Dorothy. Text, subtext."

[in reference to one of the myths] "It was dirty. I liked it."

JEWISH MYTH
[in reference to us sinful, sinful students] "A little holy water would've gone a long way."

[Hargrove hands Fee one of the apples being passed around]
Fee: "Why, what did you do to it?"
Hargrove: "It dropped on the floor, I'd feel bad if I didn't tell you!"
Fee: ::incredulous look:: "How's your immune system?" ::drops apple, picks it up, eats it defiantly::

BYZANTINE MYTH
"I'm 85 years old and I take on a bear with a knife. That's the way I want to go. And recently, they've been seeing bears out on 30."

"I love you so much, it's too bad you're a Capulet...oh, you fucking Montague..."

Fee: "Why is he especially scum-buckety?"
Class: "..."
Fee: "OK, that's not a term you use? He sucks bilgewater. All right, fine. He's a bad, bad man."

Someone, to Katy: "Why are you the vampire?"
Katy: "Ask Fee!"
Someone: "Why is she the vampire?"
Fee: "...you can't tell?!?"

[discussion of the hero (yes, the hero) raping some girl]
"Yeah, and then he fucked her...What? That's what he did! He fucked her, and he fucked up her life. We have a good Anglo-Saxon word for it, so use it! He FUCKED her!"

RESEARCH SESSION
[in reference to Heather, and him standing her up for a meeting]
Fee: She started beating my door with a dead cat. There were claw marks everywhere."
Someone: "Oh my God, how do you come up with this stuff?!?"
Fee: [screeches]"Mrow!" ::ponderously bangs on the table::

TURKISH MYTH
My notes for this class say "We open with a debate about the choice to fight a camel..."

PERSIAN MYTH, also known as LAST CLASS, IN WHICH FEE WAS IN RARE FORM
[in reference to Gontrum raving about the last few books we've read]
"Next time I do this, I'm front-loading this shit!"

Kristin: "My roommate looked over my shoulder and said, 'What are you reading?!?"
Fee: "I bet she thought you were a terrorist, didn't she? She's such a racist."

[Fee leaves us to our own devices with the evaluation forms. Dear God.]
Gontrum: "I'm perfectly sober, goddammit! I'm doing a great job!"
Losito: "Gontrum. What were you doing before class?"
Gontrum: "I was fuckin' hanging out at the Sig Nu faculty dinner, drinking a lot of white zinfandel!"
Everyone: ::hysterical laughter and other such silliness::
Gontrum: "OK, first question...I can't spell 'because'."

Something about mastadons. I don't even know. Oh hat :)

"Well, I have a great idea -- let's scare the Romans with our elephants! Let's go over the Alps!"

From my notes:
To do: buy a box of wine for Fee. Sit back and enjoy.
What we learn from heroic culture: get plastered before an important event, like an epic battle...or finals.

"Well, you get that [brain damage] from alcohol. Hey, you get it from a sword upside the head, too!"

Heather: "That's why you drink!"
Fee: "Well, we know where Stewart is coming from..."

"Blessed are the swine-eaters, for they shall get an axe upside the head. [pause, then, thoughtfully...]Is that blasphemy?"

Heather: "And now we know how to live."
Fee: "You'll be drunk!"

[someone is shuffling papers in attempt to signal the end of class]
"You're no McDermott."

[a great deal of discussion of the relative merits and possibility of feeding someone his own brain]

Gontrum: "I mount horses all the time!...every day...[trails off, muttering about horse-mounting]."
Fee: ::dies laughing. we're talking head, meet table, here::

Also, at some point in class, I got to say "Good night Westley, I'll most likely kill you in the morning" in chorus with Fee. It was good.

There we go. I miss that class. And I appear to be turning into Emma. Oops?

Working now! Really!

...::nose game!::

theroyalbrat @ 2006-12-04T01:58:00

2006-12-04T05:58:41Z

Fuck.

I went and got myself to the point where I'm too freaked out to work, or really do anything other than curl up in a little ball. I always hate being reminded that I'm stupid, incompetent, and generally useless.

Utterly pointless, yay!

2006-11-29T21:09:08Z

I'm back at school, I'm working, and I'm completely dreading the next few weeks. They promise to be a special kind of horrid.

However, I'm taking a break from writing about Anglo-Saxon myth (yes, again...asdhfnipewiahfpoi;dajfdal;kfnd), because I just wrote something that made me smile a bit. That something is the word "prosopopoiea." No, it is not some kind of crazy Viking porpoise (...) -- it's the official term for the personification of an inanimate object, a la "The Dream of the Rood" (beepbeepbeepbeep nerd radar broken o noes). Is that or is that not the most superfluous term ever?!!?! I mean, really. Prosopopoiea? I've never even heard an English professor use it. Clearly, some academic got bored a while ago and decided that there were not enough terms for literary devices that have to be defined in order to find out what is actually being discussed, so they mashed together some roots (that I don't even recognize) and called it "personification of an inanimate object." Words are so funny. Literary analysis is even funnier. I effing love it :D

Right. Working now. Jess out.

ACHEM!

2006-11-20T16:17:34Z

Attention, Needham types! This is me telling you that you are ALL required to be home this coming Saturday night. Why, you ask? Are you legally retarded, I ask? Thanksgiving Shenanigans, Take 2 at the Ernst house, that's why! Consider this an open invitation to people I like. I don't know what time yet, but reserve Saturday night. Help me think of ways to keep you people entertained (other than feeding you, because feeding Mark alone is a three-person job :-P). Oh, and just so you know -- my parents miss you guys, too, so they will insist on being present. Therefore, this is going to be a well-behaved kind of party. By which I mean, misbehave as much as you damn well please without drinking, kthnx.

Get back to me with questions, comments, and all that nonsense. I'll be home tomorrow evening. See you soon, and rock rock on, marching band (zomg alumni band squeeeeeeeee) (...I apologize for that).

mmmm, foreboding

2006-11-17T19:48:29Z

...shit, guys, here we go again. Grab hold of something solid and hang on until Monday, 'cause this weekend looks like naptime for God again.

On a lighter note, in the midst of all the crazy that is sure to ensue, come to the lock-in tomorrow night. It'll be good fun :-D

Almost Thanksgiving. Almost the end of the semester. You can make it, Tumor House! ...wow.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends...

[/emo]

Nope, not an update on my life at all!

2006-11-02T02:28:03Z

I'm too lazy to tell you people what I've been doing. If you really wanna know, call me or something. As if anyone will. God, I'm so alone and unloved. 'Scuse me while I frolic through the Gardens of Emo a little bit :-P

Mostly, I'm not writing about my life because it's kind of bleh. Or maybe that's just a side effect of me being very, very sleepy. Hmmm.

ANYWAY. In light of a snippet of a conversation with Shancock last night (was it last night? or was it Monday? whatever), I've changed my screen name. You may find me at not dust yet 00, as in "First day of Lent. We are but dust and to dust shall return. I tried to be thoughtful and morbid on this day but spoiled it by skipping in the yard after dinner from pure joy. I am not dust yet!" I know Kelsey and Shancock are familiar with this quote...anybody else who's read the book gets all kinds of cool points :)

'Til next time, ladies, gentlemen, and Zachary :-P

"and I would advise you to kill them."

2006-09-29T15:47:31Z

Today is a good day. Not the "So you don't wanna hear about my good day" kind of good day -- a non-sadistic, cheerfully good day. Maybe it's because I almost pwned the bio test (I wouldn't go so far as to say "pwned," but I came pretty damn close), or maybe it has to do with my severe outbreak of unspeakable nerdery in History of Theatre (George mentioned the rebirth of drama in the late Middle Ages. I proceeded to spout things off the top of my head like 1213, the Lateran Council, Corpus Christi, and mystery plays. It was pretty sad, but super-fun. Shut up.). Regardless, I'm pleased with life and uber-motivated for the weekend. I really should be terrified, considering my to-do list is longer than anything ever. I seem to have developed a work ethic out of nowhere.

...that's frightening. Am I deathly ill and just trying to be productive in my last days on Earth? Or maybe it's just a sign of the apocalypse. Eh, we've all had a good run.

So yeah. In spite of too much work, too little sleep, and too much wasting of brain-space on bio that should be filled with child-killing, incestuous Vikings (The Saga of the Volsungs is my new favorite thing ever), my life is...pretty sweet. Gonna go eat lunch and read in the Junction soon.

It's freaking beautiful out.

theroyalbrat @ 2006-09-22T13:10:00

2006-09-22T17:41:28Z

Survey about high school instead of a section reaction paper for Fee? I think so!

1. Who was your best friend(s)?
It's just so much easier to think of us as that blob in front of the lockers...individuality is for losers.

2. What sports did you play? <---I corrected the "u," because it angered the baby Jesus.
Soccer! And two seasons of tennis before I decided I sucked/didn't give a shit.

3. What kind of car did you drive?
Mommy's batmobile/Daddy's tank. I don't really like driving all that much.

4. It's Friday night, where are you? <---I corrected the "where were you at," because the tenses didn't match and the preposition was uncalled for.
ImprovBoston. Every effing weekend. Unless there was a football game. But for the most part, IB :-D

5. Were you a party animal?
Parties were at my house, bitches! But they were nerdy, nerdy parties. With Animal Wars and the occasional stripping...::snerk::

6. Were you considered a flirt?
Just a little bit ::dripping with sarcasm:: I believe it's a point of pride by now. In case anybody doesn't remember, Mr. Gagnon actually made fun of me...in public...at the banquet...in front of parents. My band director thought I was a skank. Way to go, Jess.

7. Ever skip school?
Yup. Hibernating in Pat's basement after the musical = awesome. Funny story -- report cards were handed out that day. I had to tell my mother that I didn't have mine because I was talking to Mr. Baker about Big, Important Mock Trial Things during homeroom. Got away with it, too.

8. Were you a nerd?
Shit yeah.

9. Were you in any clubs?
I was in a couple cults, if that's what you mean...band and musical and mock trial, oh my! Oh, and soccer.

10. Did you get suspended/expelled?
I got detention after the walk-out soph year. I think I also got severely ill from traipsing around in melting snow and freezing rain. Good fun.

11. Can you sing the fight song?
Ohhhhhhhhh Needham, our alma mater, we sing! We raise our voice high 'til the echoes ring!

12. Favorite teacher?
Mrs. Weiss or Ms. Neilsen

13. Favorite class?
AP History, AP Gov, or AP English. Yes, I know my nerd is showing, shut up.

14. What was your school's full name?
Needham High School

15. School mascot?
Rockets. I go from one phallic symbol to another. I guess I'm just destined for...never mind.

16. Did you go to dances?
Hah, no. Just the Harbor Cruise and prom. Like I said, ImprovBoston on Friday nights. Plus, everyone in our school sort of sucked. Well, not really. But also yes. You know.

17. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
Yeah, why not? Instead of having the majority be fun with a good sized chunk of ZOMG ANGST, I could do it with all the fun and none of the angst.

Nicholas just walked in and yelled at me for doing this instead of homework. I love him and think he's cute and, since Amanda's gone for the weekend, I'm gonna run away to Vegas with him. Sorry, dear, but you left :-P. We'll share.

18. What do you remember most about graduation?
Being bored out of my FACE.

19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year?
IRELAND. Fucking yes. Someday, we're going back and taking Dublin by storm, because this time, we won't have concerts every four seconds. And I won't get the plague from crawling around in a badger cave this time.

20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall?
We had a senior board that said where everyone was going to college...I was on that. It was in Fleming's classroom and distracted me lots.

21. Did you have a job your senior year?
ImprovBoston, duh. Is it sad how many times IB (which is in no way connected with NHS) has come up in a survey about high school? Probably.

22. Who did you date?
Mike Bono, from The Pajama Game through junior year band camp. Kenny Leftin from the end of junior band season through Guys and Dolls. Yes, I count time by band and musicals. How else am I supposed to do it?

23. Where did you go most often for lunch?
The sexually active band geeks table! Mean Girls knows all. I have a problem, shut up.

24. Have you gained weight since then?
A little bit, I think. My boobs are bigger...which is exactly what I want to tell the whole internet.

25. What did you do after graduation?
Went to the all-night party, then the lake, then IHOP (without shoes or a wallet), then way far out into Central MA because Steve fell asleep at the wheel. FUCK! ASS!

26. Where are most of your classmates?
UMass Amherst. And other colleges. Actually, I think a disproportionate amount of us went to BU and BC.

27. Are you going to your ten year reunion?
If I have anything to say about it, we're all going as characters. Street theatre for the win! I know at least Laura will do it with me.

28. Who was the worst/annoying/weird teacher?
Lafa. Fucking physics, ruining my life. And then there was Mr. Baker, who put my soul in a lockbox (get it? he was my Gov teacher...wow) and didn't give it back until Class Day.

29. Who will repost this after you?
Well, Amanda is a giant survey whore. She'll do it. In the butt.

Arrrrgh!

2006-09-20T00:25:55Z

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Amanda and I dressed up for the occasion. Go see pictures. They're pretty much the best (note: there are two sets of pirate pictures. One is from Friday night, and there is a lot less clothing and a lot more drinking...).

Life is pretty ok. Stuff is good, except for classes. I'm altering the most adorable purple smock-thing for The Secret Garden -- it's almost done, and I cannot handle how cute it is. Hanna, Amanda, and I performed feats of awesome at crew yesterday, to such a degree that I felt the need to write it on the very doorframe we had just assembled :).

A pile of laundry with my roommate under it just walked into the room.

But anyway. I've been getting to bed early lately (read: 1:30-2), and I'm still always tired. As in, sitting still for more than ten minutes will knock me out. It's frustrating...gah.

I could tell you what I've been doing, but you've all either witnessed it or will hear about it some other way.

Off to pillage and plunder for a while. I want to be a pirate every day!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Erm...

2006-09-11T02:27:04Z

I'd just like to inform the internets that everyone who lives in Carlisle 21 sucks at work. No, really, we suck at it. So much that one of us *cough*Amanda*cough* threw up on Aristophanes last night.

...

But this weekend was crazy fun. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" is my new motto. Yeaaaaah. Gonna read now.